PCOND Chapter 1

A figure walked toward the light after jumping down from the bell rope. He came outside as he looked at the sky, then at a

baby bird. He was dark brown furred cat with green eyes with light aqua outside of the pupils, and white armor.. He was known

as Speedy Cerviche, the Samurai Pizza Cat.

Speedy: Hey there little guy, good morning.

The bird chirped happily inside the mouth of a statue with another statue looking like it was holding the other's mouth.

Speedy: Today may be the day for you. You ready to fly?

It chirped in concern, looking worried. He frowned a bit, but then looked at the bird.

Speedy: Come on, today's a great day to try. (sighs) If I wanted any day to fly, this would be it: the Festival of Fools.

He grinned as he showed the bird some activity below. The bird looked concerned, however.

Speedy: It's exciting and very fun with juggling, music, and even dancing. (sighs) Too bad the Panther King won't let me go

out.

The cat then let go of the bird slowly. Its instincts took over as it began to flap its wings. The bird smiled, then realized

what it was doing as it flew back to Speedy's hand.

Speedy: (smiles) Go on! Nobody wants to be cooped up here forever!

The bird nodded, then began to fly off at last. Smiling, Speedy sighed as he looked at the free bird. Just then, the statues

began to move. The first one that giggled was a pink and red lioness, her name was Kairi.

Kairi: That was really nice, Speedy.

The other statue was spitting the nest out of his mouth as of some feathers. He was a brown lion with a spiky mane named Mike

Lambert.

Mike: Bleck! Gross! Oh, man! I thought he'd never leave! I'll be spittin' feathers for a week!

Another statue moved, he was a black and green rooster, his name is Trent.

Trent: Well that's what you get for sleeping with your mouth open.

Mike: (frowns) Heh, heh, heh...go scare a nun! (to Speedy) Hey, Speedy! What's goin' on out there? A fight? A flogging?

Speedy: A festival!

Mike: (excited) You mean the Feast of Fools!?!

Speedy: Uh huh!

Mike: All right, all right! Pour the wine and cut the cheese!

Trent: It is a treat to watch the colorful pageantry of the simple people.

Mike: Boy, nothing like balcony seats for watching the old "F.O.F."

Speedy: (sadly) Yeah...watching.

Speedy left them while looking disappointed. Mike then grinned as he spoke.

Mike: Sweet! A mime!

He then prepared to make a huge spit, but Trent quickly covered his mouth, stopping the lion. As he let go, everyone noticed

the Pizza Cat heading back inside.

Trent: Aren't you going to watch the festival with us?

Speedy made no reply as Mike looked concerned.

Mike: What's with him?

Trent: Maybe he's sick.

Kairi: Impossible. If 20 years of listening to you two hasn't made him sick by now, nothing will.

Trent: But watching the Festival of Fools has always been the highlight of the year for Speedy.

Kairi: What good is watching the party if you never get to go hear it?

Just then, a few Pidgeys and Starly were flying all around her, annoying lioness.

Kairi: (trying to hit them) Hey! Get out of here! Shoo! I'm not a Pokestatue!

Once they were gone, the lioness continued.

Kairi: He's not made of stone, like us.

They went inside as they went to where Speedy was. He was sitting in front of a table, looking depressed. In front of him

were models of the city and the people, including themselves. Kairi then went up to him as she spoke.

Kairi: Hey, Speedy, what's wrong?

Snake: (sighs) Well...I just...I don't feel like watching, the festival, that's all.

Kairi: Well, did you ever think about going there instead?

Trent: Sure!

Speedy: (surprised) What? Me? Go down there? But guys! I'd never fit in down there. I'm not...normal.

Kairi: Speedy, please...

Just then, a Starly landed in front of her, making her frown.

Kairi: I want a minute with the Pizza Cat, if you don't mind!

Mike: Come on, Speedy, stop beating around the tower. What do we have to do? Paint you a fresco?

Trent: As your friends and guardians, we insist you attend the festival.

Speedy: (shocked) What?! Me?

Mike: (sarcastically) No, the Pope. (normal tone) Of course you!

Trent: It would be a veritable pope-pourri of educational experience.

Mike: You can see the girls, drinks, and lots of singing.

Kairi: Know many types of food, and you can learn to identify various regional cheeses!

Mike: Bobbing for apples!

Trent: And the indigenous folk music.

Mike: Dunk the monk!

He took a bucket of water, then slammed it to Trent's head, annoying him.

Kairi: (rolls eyes) Oh brother. (to Speedy) Look, take it from a lioness like me: Life's not a spectator sport. If watchin'

is all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go by without ya.

Mike: Yeah, you're a cat, with the flesh, and the fur, and the navel lint. We're just part of the architecture, right Trent?

Trent: Yet, if you chip us, will we not flake? If you moisten us, do we not grow moist?

Then, Kairi giggled as she took the bucket off of Trent, then shoved it over Mike's head. The others laughed as Trent spoke.

Trent: Yeah, it's all easy. Just get a cloak, a clean pair of clothes and-

Speedy: Thanks for the encouragement guys, but you're all forgetting one thing?

All (but Speedy): What?

Speedy then picked up the figure of the cat's master.

Speedy: My master, the Panther King.

All (but Speedy): (disappointed) Oh, yeah, right (etc.)

Trent: Well, when he says you're forbidden from ever leaving the bell tower, does he mean "ever ever?"

Speedy: Never ever! And he hates the Feast of Fools! He'd be furious if I asked to go.

Mike then had an idea.

Mike: (grins) Who says you gotta ask?

Speedy: Oh, no.

Mike: You should sneak out.

Speedy: I can't...

Mike: And sneak back in.

Kairi: (grins) He'll never know you were gone.

Speedy: But what if I get caught?

Trent: Hey, it's better to ask forgiveness than permission.

Speedy: But he might see me.

Mike then grabbed a cloak and put it on himself.

Mike: You could wear a disguise, just this one. (posing) What the Panther King won't know can't hurt you.

Trent: As one song goes, "Ignorance is bliss".

Mike: (to the side) Look who's talking.

Kairi: Besides, nobody wants to stay cooped up here forever.

Speedy paused for a minute, then looked at himself. He then smiled as he spoke.

Speedy: You're right, I'll go.

He went inside the bell tower and prepared himself.

Speedy: I gotta clean up.

The others grinned as he continued.

Speedy: I'll just head downstairs, then go through the door and-

Just then, he stopped as he gasped, seeing a familiar figure in front of him.

Speedy: Gah! The Panther King!

Panther King: Good morning, Speedy Cerviche.

Speedy: (sweatdrops) Ah--um, good...morning, master.

Panther King: My dear boy, I thought I heard you talking to someone up here.

The two looked as Speedy saw the animals turned back to statues while he waved.

Speedy: My...friends.

Panther King: Ah, and what are they made of?

Speedy: Uh, stone.

Panther: And can stone talk?

Speedy: (sighs) No.

Panther King: (smirks) Good, very good. You can be taught.

He then went over to the table nearby, then took out a basket.

Panther King: Now then, it's time for lunch.

The Panther King grabbed a tray with dishes, then came back to the table and placed each dish in front of Speedy and the

Panther King. The Panther King then took out his book.

Panther King: Now, while we dine, how about we review your alphabet today, shall we?

Speedy: (groans) Of course, master. I would like that very much.

Panther King: Now, A.

Speedy: Abomination.

Panther King: B...

Speedy: Blasssphemy.

Panther King: C...

Speedy: Contrition.

Panther King: D...

Speedy: Damnation.

Panther King: E...

Speedy: Eternal damnation.

Panther King: F...

Speedy: Festival.

The Panther King gasped as he said to Speedy.

Panther King: (surprised) What?!

Speedy: Forgiveness!

The Panther King, however, was glaring angrily to Speedy.

Panther King: You said...festival.

Speedy: No!

He sighed in annoyance, then closed the book and got up before he began to walk away.

Panther King: You are thinking about going to the festival.

Speedy: It's just that...you go every year.

Panther King: I am a public official. I must go! But I don't enjoy a moment.

The cat followed him while the Panther King walked down the stairs.

Panther King: Thieves and hustlers and the dregs of humankind, all mixed together in a shallow, drunken stupor.

Speedy gulped in concern as the cat continued to walk outside.

Speedy: I didn't mean to upset you, master.

Panther King: (sighs) Speedy, can't you understand? When your heartless mother abandoned you as a child , anyone else would

have drowned you And this my thanks for taking you in and raising you as my son?

Speedy: I'm sorry, sir.

Panther King: (looks at the view) My dear Speedy, you don't know what it's like out there. Trust me, though, I do.

He looked at the view as he began to sing.

Panther King: (singing) The world is cruel
The world is wicked
It's I alone whom you can trust in this whole city
I am your only friend

Speedy frowned sadly as the Panther King continued.

Panther King: (singing) I who keep you, teach you, feed you, dress you
I who look upon you without fear
How can I protect you, boy, unless you
Always stay in here
Away in here?

They headed inside as he followed, still listening.

Panther King: You must remember what I taught you all these years.

Speedy: Yeah.

Panther King: (singing) You are deformed

Speedy: (singing) I am deformed

Panther King: (singing) And you are ugly

Speedy: (singing) And I am ugly

Panther King: (singing) And these are crimes
For which the world
Shows little pity
You do not comprehend

Speedy: (singing) You are my one defender

He picked up a few figures, including one that looked like himself and Speedy.

Panther King: (singing) Out there, they'll revile you
As a monster

Speedy: (singing) I am a monster

Panther King: (singing) Out there, they will hate
And scorn and jeer

Speedy: (singing) Only a monster

Panther King: (singing) Why invite their calemy
And consternation?
Stay in here
And be faithful to me

Speedy: (singing) I'm faithful

Panther King: (singing) To be grateful

Speedy: (singing) I'm grateful

The Panther King moved the figures out of the way as he placed down the basket he was holding. He took the figure of Speedy

out of the Pizza Cat's hands.

Panther King: (singing) Do as I say,
Obey

Speedy & Panther King: (singing) And stay
In here

Speedy: (singing) I'll stay
In here

He then placed the figure in the model of Notre Dame, then glared before he left Speedy.

Speedy: You are good to me, master, I'm sorry. I promise not to ask you about it again.

Panther King: (grins) You are forgiven. (prepares to leave) Just remember, Speedy, this is your sanctuary.

The Panther King then left the bell tower while Speedy was in deep thought. When he was gone Speedy groaned about what he

said.

Speedy: (To Himself) Sanctuary.

He looked up at the bell tower, then began to sing once more.

Speedy: (singing) Safe behind these windows and these parapets of stone
Gazing at the people down below me

Speedy climbed up the bell tower, taking a good look, then smiled at the festival about to start.

Speedy: (singing) All my life I watch them as I hide up here alone
Hungry for the histories they show me
All my life I memorize their faces
Knowing them as they will never know me
All my life I wonder how it feels to pass a day
Not above them
But part of them

He picked up a few figures, then looked outside as he took another look at the festival. He grinned, sighing.

Speedy: (singing) And out there
Living in the sun
Give me one day out there
All I ask is one
To hold forever

Sliding, he greeted the animals (who came back to life). Mike and Kairi smiled as the cat hugged them both happily.

Speedy: (singing) Out there
Where they all live unaware
What I'd give
What I'd dare
Just to live one day out there

Down below, Speedy looked at the various people and animals doing activities below, including a Chelsea the Cat, a blue

moose, Lumpy hanging upside down on a pole (on accident), and a rug that was made to look like a Taj's magic carpet.

Speedy: (singing) Out there among the millers and the weavers and their wives
Through the roofs and gables I can see them
Ev'ry day they shout and scold and go about their lives
Heedless of the gift it is to be them
If I was in their skin
I'd treasure ev'ry instant

Speedy smiled as he slid down a water pole nearby and looked at the city, liking every moment.

Speedy: (singing) Out there
Strolling by the Seine
Taste a morning out there
Like ordinary men

He laughed as he splashed water onto his face at the stoned animals. He then began climbing is way to the top of Notre Dame.

Speedy: (singing) Who freely walk about there
Just one day and then
I swear I'll be content
With my share

Speedy then climbed down and ran in front of Notre Dame, smiling a nice smile.

Speedy: (singng) Won't resent
Won't despair
Old and bent
I won't care
I'll have spent
One day
Out there

A flock of birds flew as the camera zoomed away from the smiling cat.

Speedy: (to himself) Today's a new day...

(End of Chapter 1)